


Shiren to Kunan

by SwagWizardSupreme



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, F/M, OC, Role Reversal, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2020-09-02 13:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20276659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwagWizardSupreme/pseuds/SwagWizardSupreme
Summary: Kirito struggles with bad anxiety and finds the one person who makes him feel normal...





	1. Kenshi no fuan

"Kirigaya-kuuun!" squealed a hundred voices as a young swordsman strolled through the hall. Of course, the sword was hidden underneath his long black coat, a short wakizashi strapped horizontally to the small of his back. He wore all black, and he walked with a mysterious aura that called all the girls in the hallway to him. They wailed to him like sirens.

"Kirigaya-senpai~!"

"Onegai, senpai! Daisukiiii!"

Some reached out towards him, hoping to catch a part of the dark prince. Grasping hands brushed against parts of his long coat, but his gait was elusive to their holds. He swayed left and right to avoid the hands. A few tried to grasp his hand, their fingers brushing against his leather riding gloves. Their screeching voices harried him, each one beckoning him towards them, begging for _something_, some meager scrap of attention from the one they worship.

But he passed all of them. Of course, not because he was cool, but rather because he was racked with nerves. His clothes, much as he loved their style, were beginning to constrict him. The feeling of his long black coat brushing his calves became too much, like hands grasping at his legs, trying to draw him into the rolling tides of the crowd that grew around him and screamed his name. Why? Why did they have to scream? He could feel the warmth of their breaths on his neck. He focused on each lead-laden step, trying to tear his focus away from the drowning force of the crowd.

That's when he saw her. His oasis. Just a peek of the red mane in the sea of black and brown, she broke the tide.

She turned towards him, most likely seeking the source of the commotion, and their eyes met. Steel orbs sought respite within her caramel pools of sight, and for a moment they were alone. He studied her face, the sharp incline of the jaw and the sharp, slightly upward-pointing nose. She wore a white sundress with a red trim, and light brown ankle boots, and some white leggings, and she strode with a calm confidence that contrasted so clearly with Kirito's own heavy gait that he felt instinctively drawn to her. Her lips quirked up into the faintest, most sincere smile he'd ever seen. He was lost, floating away in relief.

The illusion broke. Something to the side called to her, and she turned her head. Kazuto was falling again, back into the clutches of the crowd that wailed his name. He kept walking, but for he heard something to the side. She had turned and was waving at him, and she spoke. The crowd was magnitudes louder, but he could hear her. "See you in class, sempai."

He whipped back around, a light blush dusting his features. Under his breath, he whispered, "Baka."


	2. Hōmufuronto no toraburu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n other author here. Sorry for the typos I'm writing on mobile :3

Kiritito sits in his room, his steel orbs gazing over his phone while he sits on his bed. He casually scrolls through instagram (an/ I just love instagram, don't you? Asuna: write the story me: owo ok sowwy )

Suguha walks into his room, laughing loudly.

"Kirito-sempai-san tee hee ~, how was school today?" She plops down n his bed, sitting extremely close to him. Kirito doesn't seem to notice as he just messes with his VR headset. Suguha sighs and scoots closer to him, brushing her hand along his though,

"Hry, could you, maybe not touch me? PLease.?" Kitito laughs awkwardly He doesn't like people touching him.

"But Kirito-san! I want you!" Suguha makes the :3 face at Kirirto before shoving her _**humongouse titties, I'm talking gigantic mamajamas, i'm saying large mammeries,**_ in his face. Kitiro does not like this.

"Hey, I'm just trying to play my videogame here, if you could just please me alone for the moment." Kirito laughs awkwardly. Suguha sighs and leaves the room. For a handful of moments, Kirito has peace.

A light knock sounds at Kiritos door. Kirito looks at Suguha standing in his doorway, not noting the change of her clothes, which had gone from her uniform to tight nightie that clings to literally every inch of her body, leaving literally nothing to the imagination. Kirito just sighs.

Listen, Suguha, I'll play with you later, but I want to be by myself and not have my sister hanging around me at every moment."

"But Kirito, I don't want to just play." Sugua sits next to Kirito again. At that moment it all clicks in Kiritos head.

"Ne, Midori-san! can you come here please!" Kirito yell while jumping up from his spot in his bed, Suguha screams and climbs under his blanket to hide her sins. Kiritos aunt comes into his room.

"I am making dinner, what is all the fuss about?"

"Suguha is trying to fuck me please tell her to stop" Kirito explains with terror in his eyes. His aunt rolls her eyes and glares disbelievingly at Kirito.

"Whatever" he says and leaves.

Kirito looks on at his retreating aunt, the horror in eyes eyes growing more apparents.

"You such a party pooper, a know that." Suguha says as she leave his room. Kirito, shaken by what just happened, but glad that Suguha ha left, realizes just how to get the game started. Once he does that, he lays down and puts on his vr headset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Hope you guys like this! As my co-witer said befre, my name is Baewullf :3. I promise I'm str8!


	3. Otoko ttenani?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey loves it's good to be back! w can't wait to see what you guys have to say about this chapter, im sure you'll love it xD pls review and no flames! 3!

In a moment of twitch muscle memory, Kazuto immediately said the code phrase that would power on the headset. As soon as the words passed his lips, he was assailed by a new sensation, one that he hadn't felt when beta testing the game. As the various shapes, colors, scents, and sounds whizzed past his eyes, he felt a distinct force against the back of his head, like he was being gently nestled into the warm lap of someone he loves. The pleasant feeling was accompanied by a strange prick, as if someone had pulled a hair, but it was gone just as quick as it came. Before he even realized he'd been moved, he found himself in a black, infinite expanse, with a bright white box of text floating before him.

'BEGIN CHARACTER CREATION' the box read, with the only option below it as 'NEXT'

"Huh," Kazuto muttered to himself as he pressed the 'NEXT' option with his hand, "I remember there being a main menu. Guess it's better to just hop straight to it, though."

As soon as he pressed the 'NEXT' option, a reflection of himself appeared in front of him. The reflection mimicked his movements, down to each tiny facial muscle movement. Next to the reflection were a multitude of sliders, buttons, and drop-down menus displaying how he could alter the character.

"Jeez, they really went all out after the beta." He said as he looked at his reflection, imagining what he'd change. "First thing's first, though."

Kirito selected the blank text box above his reflection's head, changing it so that his username read 'Kirito'.

Kazuto's eyes explored the options in the customization menu, finding one in particular that was oddly close to the top for its assigned anatomical position. His finger drifted on the 'buttocks' slider, idly moving it right and left and watching as his reflection's rump filled out and deflated. He laughed, leaving it at the lowest setting— a flat, nigh-concave butt— which gave him a good chuckled every time he looked at it. He'd changed it later, anyways, might as well have fun while possible.

As he began the character creation process of simply sharpening his own features and giving him a more masculine look, he came across a button that read 'adjust voice'. He pressed the button, expecting a menu of voice samples to pick from, when another text prompt appeared in front of his face. This prompt read 'please read the following poem aloud for a voice sample:

_Iro wa nioedo_

_Chirinuru o_

_Wa ga yo dare zo_

_Tsune naran_

_Ui no okuyama_

_Kyō koete_

_Asaki yume miji_

_Yoi mo sezu_

Kazuto recited the entire poem a couple of times before the prompt was fully satisfied, and he was rewarded with another slider, this one with the extreme right reading 'masculine' and the extreme left reading 'feminine'.

Kazuto's eyebrows shot to his hairline as he pushed the slider all the way to the right, returning to him a version of his voice that was much deeper, rougher, and more aggressive than his own. It sounded much like many of the Japanese samurai he'd seen in video games.

Again he moved the slider, returning to his own voice in the middle. It sounded so feminine in comparison to what he'd just heard. Curiously, he pushed the slider all the way to the left.

"Holy shit!" he cried as the voice calling out to him shook him to his core. Hearing his voice in a much more masculine tone was not that strange, considering he was a man, but hearing his own voice twisted into the melodic, lilting tones of a woman was especially strange.

What was even stranger was that he liked it. Watching his reflection's mouth move along with the woman's— _his— _voice was hypnotizing, and incredibly pleasant to the ears. Even after he'd made his features look more cool and heroic by male standards, hearing that voice pass his lips just seemed... right.

Feeling oddly driven, he moved to the drop-down menu for hair and changed it to the longest, most girly option there was.

Kazuto watched in awe as raven tresses cascaded down his back, waving slightly as they ended at the small of his back. He replayed the feminine voice sample again.

"Fuck." He muttered to himself, something which his reflection parrotted in its feminine voice. "In for a penny, in for a pound."

In a frenzy, Kazuto eagerly undid all the work he had done in sharpening his facial features, instead changing the his features to be more feminine. His jawline became less sharp, his cheeks filled out more, his eyebrows arched slightly. He found himself smiling as these features began making his reflection more and more girly, and he found an odd satisfaction in the feminine figure before him. The reflection before him was, by all means, a girl. It still held his own height, but it was slightly more slender, its features softer, with only a slight edge in the cheekbones and jawline.

The next set of options shot a tingle of excitement up Kazuto's spine: Makeup. Smokey eye and black eyeliner drew attention to his steel orbs, giving him a much fiercer appearance, along with a sharp contour. Black and red ombre lipstick put a much-needed amount of color on him, contrasting pleasantly with his marble pallor.

Kazuto held out his hand to the reflection again, and it mimicked his movements. Their hands eventually met, and Kazuto was shocked by the tactile response. Unlike the beta, the avatar's skin really felt like skin, and not at all like a plastic mold like it did before. The hand was warm and soft. Kazuto peered past their hands, and looked into the eyes of his avatar.

He immediately turned around and growled at himself. He pulled his hair back and sighed. Looking back at his avatar, he muttered, "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

The reflection repeated him.

"I mean, what's the harm in it. No one will know. People pretend to be girls in games all the time, right?"

The reflection repeated him again.

"Yeah, it's no biggie. I mean, if anything it'll just be an opportunity to make more gold and stuff, right?"

The reflection offered him no consolation, and merely repeated him.

Kazuto gave a hollow laugh. "Yeah, I can fleece guys for cash because they'll think I'm a girl!"

Even the reflection was beginning to look unconvinced as it repeated the sentence. It was _almost _a reasonable rationalization, which gave him just enough confidence to continue on.

Kazuto felt something strange fill his chest, and determination became set in his eyes. As quickly as possible, he slammed his hand to the 'NEXT' button, lest he think on it more and renege his decision.

The next, and final, customization screen was for class selection. His avatar stood in the middle of a dais before him. It stood in a semi-heroic pose, staring blankly forward with sword and shield in hand. Another set of options appeared in a text box before Kazuto with various class names and descriptions laying out his options. The current selection was 'STALWART', a class which prioritized high damage absorption, but not much damage output, something which Kazuto's solo-player mindset abhorred.

Kazuto drifted uninterestedly across the multitude of class options, looking specifically for one class: 'DUELIST'. High damage output, high mobility, and pitifully low health in comparison to the other melee fighting classes. Kazuto eagerly pressed the 'PREVIEW' button, and watched as a black duster billowed outwards, revealing a fur trim and a slate black shirt tucked into slim black trousers. Under the duster were numerous belts and buckles containing various smaller bladed weapons and a pair of black shin-high folded over leather boots. The outfit was completed by a black leather baldric that held a longsword at the hip of Kazuto's avatar.

Kazuto stared at the avatar before him, the person that everyone, including himself, would see when in the game. His own figure had become twisted into something undoubtedly female. Kazuto could only tell that the character was male because that's what _he _was, but anyone who saw him would only think of him as a girl. For Kazuto, it was oddly thrilling.

With a small amount of anticipation, he pressed on the option reading 'FINISH - BEGIN YOUR ADVENTURE!' and found himself once again drawn into a tunnel of colors, sounds, shapes, and sounds.

He landed on his ass in the middle of a field.

"Well," he said, surprising himself with his new voice, "I, uh, guess it's time to get started."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ohaiyo! I hope you guys really enjoyed this chapter! It was really fun to write, i pretty much just wrote what i would do if i had the same opportunity! xP no homo tho! Full homo xd kirito was really cute in my head as a trap and i hope that comes through in— woah kirito and asuna are here again! Ohaiyo guys :))
> 
> Kirito: hey im not a trap
> 
> Asuna: you are now sweetuy ;)
> 
> Kirito: does that mean im gay?
> 
> Of course not! Traps arent gay :))
> 
> Asuna: i sure hope not because youre myman!
> 
> Oh you might wanna take that back soon!
> 
> Asuna: oh no...
> 
> Kirito: haha!
> 
> *asuna glomps and kisses kirito*
> 
> Woah woah guys1 not here! See you guys later pls fav and review! Love you all!


	4. Otenba

I was walking home, thinking back to my encounter with Kazuto in the hallway. I've crushed on him for quite sometime now, but I've never done anything about it. Sighing, I opened the door to my house, dropping my bag on my couch, plopping down on the sofa, and closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was to escape.

After a moment, I finally opened my eyes to see a package lying n the table.

"Oh, the VR set is here!" I said to no one in particular. I quickly stood up and ripped into the packaging, pulling out the headset and the game I ordered. I'm not big into playing video games, but tha idea of a fully imersive game where I could be anything I wanted was just too good to pass up! I skimmed the instructions of use before diving right into setting the game up. After abut thirty minues of set up, it was time to play. I layed down on my couch, slipped the set over my head, and closed my eyes. I felt a slight pain on the back of my head before I was falling into the game.

I seemed to land nside of a room made of mirrors with a thud, although I could tell that I never actually fell. The sensation was absolutly wild.

I looked around, taking in the multple mes in the room. I looked foward at the one standing beside many sliders, each with labels on them. I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

Without a second thought, I go to work. I gave mysef muscles that Terry Crews could only dream of, and a deep and soothing voice that could rivl Morgan Freemans voice. I wanted to be completly unrecognizable. I wanted no one to know who I actually am.

One slider in particular caught my eye.

"Hips and thighs…" I wondered out loud. I had always been insecure of my portionatly small backside. "Since I'm not being me, what could be tha harm." I grabbed the slider and slammed it all the way over, giving myself the largest hips and thighs possible. I looked like an old testament giant, and I loved it.

I looked at the me in the mirror. As I moved, it moved. It was me, but it wasn't. I liften my arm, and it was heavy, haevier than I ever thought it could be. I twisted my back to the sides, feeling the muscels I gave myself strain, being used for the first time/ everything felt so real. I loved it, but I also hated it.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and slammed my hands on the button, dropping me into a world that I had never known, but would soon get to know real well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> umu sorry it took so long, I've had a ot of things to do, but I promise I'm not giving up. My chapters will soon be as long as the others, I'm real into setting
> 
> Asuna: is that actually me? I look like a man!
> 
> Kirito: i'm kind of into it
> 
> Asuna: OWO
> 
> Oops, looks like I've started omthing, we better go. Bye :3


	5. Sore de hajimarimasu

Kazuto— Kirito, now— took a moment to inspect his surroundings. He was sitting in the middle of a vast meadow, and no one was around him. In the distance, he could see the semi-conical platforms that held areas only accessible via teleport crystal. The sun was rising, painting the landscape a pleasant pink-orange, and Kirito slowly rose to his feet.

He was immediately caught off guard as simply standing felt entirely different. He wobbled left and right on his legs before shakily steadying himself.

"Okay," he said as he began to straighten up again, "New body, new balance. This'll take a little getting used to."

In the upper right corner of his vision, a small text box told him to get a good look of the surrounding area and get used to moving. He groaned at the necessity of a tutorial for a game he's already played extensively in beta, but was secretly thankful for the extra time to get used to the new form.

At first, walking around was shaky, and every step made him look like a newborn fawn. He tried running, only to fall flat on his face. He felt each blade of grass drag uncomfortably against his skin as he fell, but the pain was more or less negligible. "Good," he muttered, his words muffled with his face in the dirt, "Pain dampeners still work."

He rose again, and kept trying to get his balance. With a frustrating amount of effort, he was more or less able to sprint in one direction without completely tumbling, but it would take a while to get used to the mobility he would need at higher levels. Nonetheless, he summoned the game's menu with a flick of the wrist and advanced the tutorial.

He felt his waist grow heavier as a sword filled the baldric at his hip, and he eagerly drew it. The blade was a simple rapier with an ebony wood hilt, and a simple, inelegant crossguard. It rasped as he pulled it from the sheath. Kirito's silver orbs examined the blade up and down, admiring his highly feminine reflection in the gleaming blade.

With another quick flick of his wrist, Kirito progressed the tutorial. A boar, wild and menacing, materialized from thin air before him, oinking aggressively as it dropped to the ground. It sniffed the air, and turned its tusked snout to Kirito.

A hard edge took over Kirito's gentle features as he dropped into a low stance. He stumbled a little as he had to adjust his new body to his usual fencing stance, but the boar charged him before he could properly set his back foot.

Kirito hopped backwards, narrowly dodging the vicious tusks of the boar, and swung the rapier down, cutting a clean line across the beast's snout. Kirito's new body proportions threw him off, causing him to stumble and fall backwards onto his bottom. The boar squealed and huffed, charging towards the downed swordsman (or, as any passers by would see, swordswoman) with a renewed fury. Kirito thrust forward from his sitting position, and the boar was too late to adjust its charge. The black boar ran viciously into the raven-haired fencer's rapier, driving the point of its blade through the front of its skull, and deep into its brain. For a few moments, Kirito could see the life leaving the monster's eyes. He could see each memory dripping down the blade of his sword. Fabricated memories of a family, a mother, children, a familiar home. All gone. The boar shattered into crystals.

Kirito shifted and exhaled, gently sheathing his sword. He shifted on his bottom, trying to find a comfortable position to rest, but the constant discomfort persisted in his rump.

"Chikuso. Should've fixed the butt slider."

Kirito huffed as the next notification for the tutorial popped up. "I already played through this, goddamnit. Baka-ass game."

Kirito progressed quickly through the tutorial. As he encountered various movement and combat challenges, he got more and more control with his feminine figure. He stopped stumbling around, and began using his notably more lithe form to execute moves he'd only dreamed of. The introduction to sword skills came and passed quickly, with Kirito already being deeply and intimately aware of how to perfectly execute each and every sword skill from his year of nigh-daily practice in the beta.

With a flourish, Kirito landed behind the enemy he'd just executed, sheathing his rapier with a little flurry as the tutorial boss crumpled and shattered into crystals. "Yatta," he muttered, his eyes closed so that he could fully bask in the cool moment.

"What'd ye say, lass?"

Kirito's eyes opened immediately, and his jaw locked. He looked around frantically. He was no longer in the tutorial, he was in the first open area of the game. An open field, just like the tutorial, but he could see the starting city on the horizon.

A man, likely not a day younger than 60 (or at least that's how his avatar looked) had approached him. The man's hair was stark white, long and tied into a bun in the back, with a few stray wisps of hair springing out and some longer strands framing his face. He had a light stubble, with a more prominent and sharp moustache that tapered out near the corners of his lips. His eyes were a soft lavender, set in dark sockets with crow's feet beginning to show from the corners. He wore a white doublet and loose black pants tucked into shin-high leather foldover boots.

Kirito stuttered and tried to answer, but he could feel the gaze of the older man on him, and it made his breaths shallow. "U-uh, I mean, I, uh..."

The older man held out a hand, and spoke in a lightly Scottish accent. "Name's Hokori. I'm new to the whole 'gaming' thing, don't quite know 'ow to go about it. Just got this 'eadset, actually. You seem experienced, would ye mind givin' an old fool some tips?"

Kirito still stood stock-still, failing to even register the offered handshake. "Well, I was, uh..."

Horoki gently placed a hand on Kirito's shoulder. "Lass?"

Kirito recoiled violently away from the hand. His eyes were wild. "Yes! Yes, I'm fine!"

Horoki didn't look convinced.

Kirito found his voice after a few more moments, the constriction around his chest making it hard to speak. "I was just gonna go, uh, power-level. Gotta... get my levels up. Yeah."

Horoki raised an eyebrow. "Power-level?"

Kirito's eyebrows drew up in surprise. "Yeah, power-level! It's where you get as much experience in as short a time as possible. For this area, the most efficient way to power-level, measured by time spent grinding versus XP gained, is to kill boars untill level 6, then sell the loot to the first city," Kirito pointed to the horizon where the city lie, "Then buy an alchemy setup, do serving work for some cash to pay for roots which will give enough XP to carry you to level 10, then just coast past all the mobs 'till you kill the first boss!" Kirito was out of breath after the explanation.

Horoki's soft lavender orbs expressed his surprise, and his eyebrows were almost challenging his hairline.

Kirito realized that the crushing grip around his chest had eased, but it was slowly seeping back into his awareness.

"Kill boars until level 6, you say?"

Kirito's voice trembled. "Uh, yes. Boars. Six."

Horoki huffed. "Well, that sounds boring. Thank you very much for the information, lass, but I won't result to using such underhanded tactics to ruin the fun of the game! This game was crafted to be played, not _played_! "

The feeling in Kirito's chest was now like a vice. "W-well, I'm, uh, sorry. I'm sorry."

Horoki's face softened. "Don't be sorry, lass. Didn't mean to spook ye. It's just not my style, y'know?"

The vice loosened its grip, but only slightly. "Okay."

A few awkward beats passed before Horoki spoke again. "Well, I'll be off. Sorry for scarin' ye, lass. Here," he opened his menu and sent Kirito a friend request, "If you ever need help, shoot me a message. Good day."

Horoki walked off into the direction of the city, leaving Kirito to stand and stare at the friend request that just popped up in front of him. The waves of anxiety were no longer crashing against Kirito, and he actually thought about the friend request. With a flick of his wrist, he dismissed the message, neither accepting it or denying it, merely saving it for later. For now, he had some boars to kill, and that conversation had majorly dampened his potential boar/minute ratio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : Ohaiyo! Hope you cuties have been doing well, i really enjoyed writnging this chapter and i hope you like the neew character, therell be more soon! 3! Love all of you, pls fav, review, & follow if you like this fic! Sayonara, loves!


	6. Dansei-yō yaban hito

Entering the game felt like falling. It was a nice fall, though. Smells, tastes, colors, sounds all whizzed by me, along with a sharp pinprick at the back of my head, like a hair being plucked from my scalp. Then, before I knew it, I'd landed in the game. I was in the middle of a vast, verdant green hill. The tutorial area, a pop-up message told me.

I tried to the best of my ability to complete it quickly, but my body didn't seem to agree with me. My legs, much more muscular and large than my real body, brushed uncomfortably against each other, occasionally tangling themselves as I walked. My arms were huge and unwieldy, and often put me off-balance. My body was, as a whole, heavier, more lumbering, which made it hard to complete any kind of movement goal without stumbling and making a fool of myself.

Eventually, though, I was able to make it through the basic movement tutorial. I had finally gained a sufficient grasp of my own body when a weapon manifested in my hand— a huge, two-handed sword— and a boar appeared in front of me. The boar charged, and I shrieked. Was I supposed to hit it? Maybe it was a talking boar who was just trying to get closer?

I got another look at it, its wild eyes and foaming mouth. No, it probably wasn't interested in diplomacy. Reluctantly, I held my sword in front of me with both hands. Its weight was massive, but easily handled by my rippling forearm muscles, something which I would never have in the real world. I swung down in a great overhead strike, ready to cleave the boar in two, when it suddenly hopped to the side, narrowly dodging my blade. Another message prompt filled my field of vision:

'ENEMIES WON'T JUST STAND THERE AND WAIT FOR YOU TO HIT THEM— THEY'LL REACT DYNAMICALLY TO YOUR EVERY MOVE. PLAN FOR THIS ACCORDINGLY.'

As I read the prompt, I failed to notice the boar charging at me again until it had already impacted. I felt its hard skull hit me like a punch to the gut, sending me to the floor. Another prompt filled my vision, preventing me from seeing the boar:

'DON'T GET DISTRACTED, FOCUS ON YOUR OPPONENT.'

I growled. Wow. Angrily, I waved my hand in front of my face, dismissing the message as I stood back up, only to barely dodge out of the way of the boar's next charge. I was ready this time, though. I dropped the sword, allowing its blade to sink into the ground as I dove after the running boar. I grabbed its long, wispy tail and yanked, hard.

It screeched like, well, like how you would expect a boar to screech after you damn near pulled its tail out of its socket. The boar, against its will, was pulled towards me, and I wrapped my huge arms around its torso from behind. It kicked and thrashed, but couldn't escape my clutches. I bent backwards, bringing the boar down in a crushing German suplex. I could hear its spine crack sickeningly when its head hit the ground. Disgusted, I released the boar, only for it to dissolve into crystals. A new notification, along with a prompt graced my vision:

'CONGRATULATIONS ON DEFEATING THE [BOAR]. YOUR HEROIC ACTIONS HAVE NOT GONE UNREWARDED.'

The almost-ominous end of the message was punctuated with a notification, a pick-up notification:

'Item: Mantle of Boarslaying - Rare (IV): +2% ATK DMG in MELEE against [BOAR]-type enemies. +3.8 BLOCK against {Charge}-type attacks.'

My eyes widened at the iten. A rare item on the first enemy? Jeez, that seems really lucky, and I honestly don't feel very deserving of that. I'm not even very good. Oh well. I scrolled through my items and equipped the piece. It materialized from crystals, forming around my shoulders and falling past my feet, pooling together below me. Surprisingly, it somehow stayed out of my way as I walked, as if it moved itself from my stride. It was incredibly soft on the inside, and was trimmed with fur lining which poofed out handsomely at the collar, and it smelled like a comfortably smoky campfire. Small black embroideries of boars and hunters decorated the edges of the cloak, and the angry face of a boar dominated the back of it, although they were hard to see against the already dark-brown material. It contrasted horribly with what was under the cloak, a pair of light gray breeches and a loose white shirt that revealed my chiseled, muscular torso and rock-hard abs, the sides of the mostly open shirt hinting at pair of below-average sized breasts. Maybe I could dye the cloak white, it's always been a good color on me.

I walked deliberately to where I'd left the jagged hunk of a sword, considering leaving it in favor of getting a better one or sticking with my hands, but finally deciding to heft it once again. I dragged the intimidating blade behind me, the huge sword digging a trail into the dirt and uprooting any plants in its path.

Eventually, I found a paved pathway, and a city on the horizon. The sword made a horrible but kinda badass noise as I dragged it across the stone. Without my noticing, an older man jubilantly caught up to my long stride.

"Hullo!" He greeted, his voice a Scottish drawl, "Name's Horoki, and you cut an imposing figya! Mind if I walk in yer shade? Old men like me are ripe pickins for dastardly types!"

I looked down at him. With my towering 6'8" figure, he looked like what I looked like in comparison to the school basketball players. He looked up at me with a genuine smile and kind, squinted eyes. I decided to humor him and nodded.

His smile brightened. "Thanks, lad. Ye seem like the generous type. I gotta say, that cloak is fetchin'! Where'd ya get it?"

I shrugged and pointed behind me with a thumb.

He rose an eyebrow in confusion, "Corpses disappear, lad. Did ye forget that?"

I blushed and smiled again. Oh well. "Boar," I let out, trying to conceal my vaguely deep feminine voice as much as possible.

He cocked his head, but didn't seem to care all that much. "Boar? How the feck did ye get that from a boar!"

I shrugged.

"Oh well, guess it don't matter much. What's yer class?"

I squinted, struggling to remember what I picked, then I realized that the giant sword still dragging along the stone behind me was a sufficient hint. "Barbarian."

He looked up at me. "Yeah, most lads I seen pick that. Guess it's a male fantasy thing, or it's just cool. Not my place to judge. Me, I'm a Cleric. Figured not enough people care to care about others, and carin's what I'm best at!"

What a sweet old man. I smiled down at him, and decided that showing my hand wouldn't be that bad. "I'm not a 'lad.'"

He looked taken aback, then leaned forward and squinted at me. "Huh. Sorry fer assumin', ye just don't seem too… Oh well, it's not my place ta be judgin' based on body shape. Sorry. I'll leave ye alone."

I waved my hand dismissively and chuckled, "It's fine, don't worry about it. You don't have to go, you seem like a nice guy."

He laughed and stepped back into stride with me. "Thank goodness, I wouldn't want to get on someone's bad side when they got that," he pointed to the sword "With 'em. Name's Horoki, by the way."

"Asuna. Pleased to meet you."

We continued walking in a comfortable silence, at least, it was silent until the void in my stomach made itself known with a great rumble.

My new friend gave a small laugh. "I'm awful peckish. I know a good bar nearby, they serve good drink," he leaned in closely, as if he was telling a dark secret, "And even better sandwiches."

I chuckled and followed his lead through the approaching town. Hopefully I'll find more friends like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwuu asuna-san~~~ so cool!!!!
> 
> asuyn: yeah im a dude now i guess
> 
> n-no ure jusit super manly! hips and thighs!
> 
> asuna: oh ok :)


	7. Bāmeido no nayami

This was _not _what Kirito expected.

_Sword Art Online _being a "full immersion VRMMORPG experience," it included a natural and flowing economy with exports and imports between cities, towns, and even floors. Entrepreneurial players could start then own business from the ground up, and hire other players for jobs like hauling, cleaning, serving, or cooking. These players were paid a wage just like in the real world. Most players took on these jobs as something to grind up gold for that new sword in the shop, or to increase more menial skills and stats such as potion brewing for alchemy, serving for stamina, hauling for strength, or a hundred other options for labor.

Kirito was serving. In a bar. The bar was named _The Knight's Delight_.

Kirito had done this before, in the beta, for the same reason as he was doing now. Selling the boar loot had been enough for an alchemy set, but not for the roots that he'd use to grind alchemy. With such a rigid task in mind, the anxiety of interacting with others (however brief their interactions were) became much less taxing when he thought of the people merely as objectives to complete so he could get to the next level. One by one, the ticker in his head rose as he served more and more, accruing more and more gold by the minute.

But that was in the beta. When his body was less... feminine. When he was a barman, not a bar_maid_.

Now, he could feel their leering gazes, he was under the ever-watchful eye of the lustful patrons, and he could no longer think of them as objectives to complete. Objectives don't flirt with you or send friend requests with lewd messages. His outfit wasn't even revealing, just the black shirt he wore under the duster with his black trousers and boots, accompanied by a pair of fingerless gloves that covered most of his hands. All in all, hardly a sliver of skin was showing, but the men hounded him nonetheless. It was just like school again.

Another notification popped in the corner of his vision, displaying his many, many "friend" requests that he hadn't read, and the sum of gold he'd been paid for his work. He was halfway to the sum required for the next step, and he was seriously considering going back to killing boars. At this level, that grind would be incredibly inefficient, but it would be more bearable than being fawned over by drunk men.

"Oi, girlie!" A voice called out from one side of the bar. A Scottish accent that Kirito recognized, he couldn't decide whether to be more scared or relieved.

He moved swiftly to that side of the bar trying to outpace the drunken gazes that raked over him. Horoki looked up at her with a soft expression, clearly trying to ease her of what must be visible distress.

Horoki gave Kirito a soft smile. "'Ave ye considered the friend request, lass?"

Kirito's eyes widened. "I'm— I'm sorry, I haven't been able to... There are just so many, y'know? Yeah."

For a moment, Horoki's face was one of intense doubt, but then he caught wind of the many licentious words and looks being levelled at Kirito. His face turned to one of concern, and he tried to change the subject, maybe drive Kirito's attention from the many patrons harrying him. "Lass, 'ave ye met my friend here? She's new to the game, scary lucky too, and pretty good."

Kirito's eyes drifted to the aforementioned person, and he felt his pulse quicken. Light red hair tied into a tight bun in the back, caramel orbs looking back softly at Kirito. Sharp, fierce features enrapturing Kirito, a moment of respite amongst the sea of clamoring admirers. He was lost, floating away with relief.

A voice broke the illusion, Horoki's voice. "I know, right? Looks just like a man. She had to tell me otherwise, and I honestly still doubt it."

She waved, her voice thick and silken, with a touch of familiarity that Kirito couldn't quite place. "Ohaiyo."

Kirito's hand raised and wiggled slowly, more of a slow spasm than a wave. "H-howdy. Ohaiyo."

They held each other's gazes for a few long moments.

"Oi, lass, I _do _want a drink, y'know."

Kirito immediately snapped out of it, blushing a fiercer red than he had when the men were leering at him. He coughed. "Oh, uh, yes, what'll you have? To drink?"

Horoki placed an order of ale, but his friend was pensively tapping her stong, sharp chin. She made a long sigh. "I've never drunk alcohol before..."

There was an opportunity, Kirito realized, to make a big tip. He'd seen it before, tried it a couple times and miserably failed, but maybe, just maybe he could get it right. Something about this person made it easier for Kirito to think, like the jumbled knots in his brain loosened, some maybe untying. Pulling this off might get him a tip that could get him the hell out of the awful bar, and back to the power-levelling grind that he revelled in.

Kirito had to flirt.

Kirito leaned forward slightly, and tried his best to school his expression into a more seductive one. With one hand, he slowly pushed his black hair away from his face, and hardened his resolve. He _needed _to do this. He _needed _to get out of here, or else he might just lose his sanity. He spoke slowly. "Well, I've not tried anything either," he leant further forward, supporting himself on the bar counter, "Perhaps we could try some different things, _together_."

Internally, Kirito slapped himself. _Awful, awful, awful!_ He thought. He felt some part of himself die with the suggestion, and he tried to maintain his flirty appearance outwardly, but couldn't stop his eye from twitching. He could see it now, his potential ticket out of this bar would make the most disgusted face he'd ever seen, probably slap him, and then storm out while Horoki gave him the 'disappointed father' look. It was a certain outcome, and Kirito's chest was tightening in anticipation.

Her caramel orbs widened, then narrowed. A slap, definitely. Kirito screwed his eyes shut in anticipation. He deserved it.

"Well, I've never considered myself a lesbian," Kirito's eyes slowly opened as the expected strike didn't come. She leaned towards him, bringing her hand forward until hers and Kirito's touched, "But then again, I've never tried it."

Kirito was red. He could feel the blood pumping in his face.

She smirked, and gently rested her hand on Kirito's comparatively tiny hand. "Do you want to come over to my place?"

Kirito squeaked, the flirty expression completely forgotten. His mouth outpaced his mind with his response. "Uh, okay. Yes."

She smiled, no, _beamed_ up at Kirito. It was new. Kirito had never seen someone look so genuinely happy at something he'd said. The hand around his was soft but firm, making him feel safe. "You sure?" She asked softly.

Kirito froze for a moment, but a squeeze from the hand around his kept his anxiety at bay. The voices around him didn't crush him anymore, and he couldn't feel their leering gazes. He could only feel her soft caramel orbs on his own pools of silver. He whispered, his voice reinforced by a certainty he hadn't felt before, "Yes."


	8. Romanchikkuna dēto

“So, how long have you been playing SAO?”

The voice from the kitchen resonated through the small home, its honey and silk tones bringing Kirito the greatest listening pleasure. Such a pleasant sound, in fact, that he forgot to respond.

Briefly, Asuna peeked out kitchen. She was wearing a pair of white hot pants and a loose muscle shirt, its wide open sides exposing Asuna’s prominent serratus anterior, her sharp obliques, and the subtle swell of her breasts. All of these were restrained by a rather cute cooking apron which strained to remain affixed to her person, her rippling muscles threatening to tear the relatively tiny garment. “Kirito?”

He jumped, nearly sending his steaming cup of tea flying. “Y-yes?”

She looked at him with the most caring eyes he’d ever had set on him. It felt like heaven, to be looked at like that, “How long have you been playing SAO?”

Kirito almost lost himself again, but managed to retain a sliver of composure, “W-well, since the beta. I hopped onto VR quick and I’ve been…” Kirito’s arms wrapped around himself, and he realized he should probably stop talking when Asuna disappeared back into the kitchen, “S-sorry, I hate to sound like a, uh... like a nerd.”

He heard a chuckle from the kitchen. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for being yourself. You were saying when you started playing VR?”

Kirito could hear the smile in her voice, and he perked up again, “I started playing in ‘21, when all the half and full-dive stuff started coming out. When the beta for SAO came out I was super ecstatic. It was amazing! I could touch things and eat things!” Kirito’s smile was making his cheeks sore, but it dimmed as he moved on, “I talked about it in school and all my friends called me a nerd and a trend-hopper… then they started just making things up. Saying that I stole my headset ‘cuz my mom is… less than wealthy, and that I…” he shivered, a sneer of disgust pulling at his lips, “I… have less than brotherly relations with my sister…”

Asuna peeked out of the kitchen, the anger in her eyes barely overtaken by curiosity, “Brotherly?”

Kirito paled. Oh, shit. Beans = spilled. Fuck. “Sisterly! Sister-to-sister! I’m not brother! I’ll be your gf for 50 gp daily v cheap armor trimming will double gp free!” The phrases, which were alien to Asuna, spilled from his mouth as he cowered behind arms upraised in defense.

He felt a pair of warm hands on his cheeks. Gently, they pivoted his gaze upwards, towards hers. “Kirito, it’s okay. I mean, incest isn’t okay but you’re okay.”

Kirito felt his panic slough away as Asuna’s words washed over him. “I-I mean it’s not me who does the incest stuff… We’re not even real siblings, it’s just.... She, like,” Kirito shivered “Wants to fuck me? Or something? My mom won’t do anything about it…”

Asuna cocked her head and gave Kirito an empathetic look. “That’s unfortunate, Kirito. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

Kirito looked back up at her. “H-how?”

Asuna smiled. “Show me your player profile.”

Kirito’s eyes widened, and he felt panic gripping his chest again. “Wh-what! I can’t do that, I hardly know you!”

Asuna realized how she sounded, and quickly held up her hands in front of her. “Wait! I don’t mean it like that,” She opened her menu and held up her own player profile, the personal identity information bio that NerveGear requires to make an account. “This is mine… Me.”

Shock ran through Kirito’s body as he read her profile. Yuuki Asuna, 18, Toyama Prefecture, No criminal record, Senior at Toyama High School. 

“Wait, you’re…” Kirito’s jaw went slack. Numbly, he showed his own profile. Kirigaya Kazuto, 17, Toyama Prefecture, No criminal record, Senior at Toyama High School.

Asuna’s brows rose quickly, and a smile slowly crawled across her face. “Kazuto?”

Kirito cringed. “I don’t like that… please call me Kirito.”

Asuna nodded. “Hai, Kirito-kun.”

“Yeah… I’m a guy.” He said sadly.

Asuna frowned and laid a hand on Kirito’s shoulder. “No,” Asuna insisted. “You’re Kirito.”

The words took hold of Kirito’s heart, making him swoon. 

“If you ever have a problem with your sister, or anything, please,” Asuna typed out a message to Kirito, “Call me. I have a car, I can pick you up and we can hang out. Is that okay?”

In the corner of his vision, a message from Asuna appeared, no doubt it was her phone number. He smiled a little. He was speaking to the person he’d seen every year in high school, the person who always looked back at him with caring caramel orbs, even though they were always separated by their schedules. “Y-yeah, that sounds cool.”

Asuna beamed and wrapped her huge, strong arms around Kirito. “I like you, Kirigaya-kun.”

Kirito felt a little overwhelmed, but Asuna’s hold on him made him feel secure. “I l-like you, too.”


	9. Mōninguafutā

The gentle stroke of a caring hand through Kirito's long black hair brought them back into the fold of the waking world. The air hung heavy with the scent of peach and strawberry, the soft smells easing their transition from slumber to their new digital life. Kirito let out a jaw-cracking yawn as their eyes opened, revealing a new and unfamiliar setting. Panic, a cold lance of fear shot through them, rooting them in place as the cobwebs of sleep rapidly cleared from their mind.  _ Who is touching me? Where am I?  _

A gentle voice, softer than the ocean breeze drifted into Kirito’s ear. “It’s me, Asuna, it’s okay. We fell asleep on the couch, I can move if you want.”

A wave of relief washed over Kirito, the frozen fear melting away at Asuna’s warm voice. Words came to Kirito’s mind, but none of them managed to press past their lips. In lieu of speaking, Kirito simply nuzzled further into the warm, muscled bosom of their…  _ girlfriend? Oh beans,  _ Kirito thought,  _ I must have fallen asleep on her lap! I trapped her on this, uh… surprisingly comfortable couch. Still! She’d probably rather be in bed…  _ Kirito sighed, the nagging anxiety already settling in their sternum.

Nonetheless, Asuna kept stroking their hair. “I slept really well,” she said, “I’ve never actually slept with someone before.  _ Sleep  _ slept, that is. Well, also  _ slept  _ slept.” Asuna leaned to the left, her hard and somewhat intimidating features peeking into Kirito’s line of sight. “It was really nice having a warm body to cuddle with.”

Kirito slowly looked up, meeting her eyes. “It was nice?”

Asuna nodded enthusiastically, easing the anxiety that had just rooted in Kirito.

“How long have you been awake?” Kirito asked.

Asuna shrugged. “Probably, uh…” She looked around for a second, then just shrugged. “I dunno, twenty, thirty minutes? Not that long.”

_ She’s been petting me for at least 20 minutes?  _ Kirito tried to snuggle even closer to Asuna’s warm body.  _ This level of simulation is incredible,  _ they thought,  _ even accurately replicating the warmth of the human body. It’d probably be even better in real life though… I can’t believe Asuna gave me her profile! And her number!  _

“Kirito?” Asuna’s voice cut through their unending stream of thought.

Kirito jumped. “S-sorry! I was just… thinking…”

Asuna smiled gently and kept stroking Kirito’s hair. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. What were you thinking about?”

“It’s… it’s dumb, you don’t have to ask... “ Kirito mumbled.

Asuna’s smile failed to falter. “You’re right, I don’t have to, but I  _ want  _ to ask. That’s why I did. Of course, you don’t have to tell me.”

Kirito looked up in awe at this hulking muscled beast of a woman. Why was she being so nice? “Why are you being so nice?” They decided to ask.

Asuna smiled gently. “Because being nice is nice.”

Kirito blinked. “What?”

“You asked why I was being nice.” Asuna said with a raised brow.

“Well yeah but why…” Kirito fumbled with their words, “Why are you being so nice to  _ me?” _

Asuna made an odd face. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Kirito looked at her like she was dumb. “Because! I…” Kirito drifted off.

Asuna’s eyes softened and she pulled Kirito closer. “Oh, baby, it’s okay.” She nuzzled Kirito’s hair as she embraced them. “There’s nothing wrong with you, I’m nice to you because I like you.”

Kirito felt tears bubbling up, burgeoning behind thei— no, wait, no definitely crying. Yep. Crying  _ and  _ babbling. Kirito blushed as they buried their face in Asuna’s bosom, embarrassed that they, a  _ gamer  _ in top emotional shape, would so quickly buckle when exposed to the slightest emotional care. 

Time passed unbidden in Asuna’s abode, their emotional cuddling session cut short when Kirito jumped into a sitting positon, their hair flying in all directions, including Asuna’s yawning maw. 

“How long have we been in the game!” Kirito shrieked. They looked at Asuna, whose blissful face melted into a similarly nervous expression.

“Uh, I think at least, like,” Asuna opened her menu, then hissed as she looked at the clock. “24 hours? What the hell?”

Kirito jumped off of the couch, their warm body leaving a cold void where Asuna had once held them. “Shit!” Kirito’s hands pulled through their hair, tugging at the roots as they paced in the relatively cramped living room. “Theres no way! This thing—” Kirito knocked on their head. “Is directly interacting with my brain chemistry! I can’t let it run for  _ twenty-four  _ hours! That can’t be healthy! Why hasn’t it given us some kind of warning or kicked us out!”

Asuna rose from the couch too, the worry beginning to furrow her brow. “This is weird, c’mon Kirito,” She took a hold of their hand, halting their pacing. “Let’s go outside and ask around.”

Kirito froze. “A-ask around? Talk to people?”

Asuna gave their hand a squeeze. “I’ll do the talking, if that’s okay.”

Kirito looked at the ground, not sad but just pondering. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
fufufu~~~ perfect timing :))) an author is never late, nor are they early, they arrive precisely when they mean to  
lmao sorry uwu~~~  
Kirito: what the heck why are you so late o nthis upsdate  
Asuna: hey kiki dont you love me  
>~< pls guys no flame no hate i ws busy!!!!! college is hard ;~; and so is writing UWA~~~!!!!  
Asuna: is ok bby just be quicker nxt time hahaha  
Kirito: If you update late again I will commit war crimes in Yugoslavia.


End file.
